My grades for the second half of the semester have just come in. I pulled straight A's again and cannot tell you how glad that makes me. Spanish was really bothering me, I was so upset about my performance on the final exam.
You wanna know my cumulative GPA? 3.9!
I'm so happy! The equation for figuring out what it will be when I finish the class I am in now (which is technically Spring semester) is confusing, but it seems reasonable that an A in this class will increase my GPA. But to 4.0* or something a bit lower?
Anyhow, I'm honor society material again this semester.
::Pats self on back::
And because I would love to feel that I could call my parents and have them be happy for me, but don't feel that way, I'm telling you guys.
* Dude if my cumulative GPA is 4.0, I'm going to take myself out for dinner, a movie, and maybe shopping for something nice.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
It's Thursday
It's Thursday and I haven't posted? Oh Man.
I'm overdoing it with classwork right now and I need to take a break, but the sitting-in-front-of-the-computer inertia is keeping my ass firmly planted in my seat. Plus I'm digging the super quiet library now that the weird girl has stopped talking to herself for now and that guy's three kids are gone.
But yeah, I'm not actually "thinking" anymore, so sitting here is kind of a waste of time.
I don't have many plans for this week except working on my stuff. I have a 15 pg research paper due in exactly two weeks. The instructor says "this doesn't have to be the best writing of your life", but EVERYTHING must be the best writing of my life.
Right now, however, I need to get out of here and breathe some fresh air.
I'm overdoing it with classwork right now and I need to take a break, but the sitting-in-front-of-the-computer inertia is keeping my ass firmly planted in my seat. Plus I'm digging the super quiet library now that the weird girl has stopped talking to herself for now and that guy's three kids are gone.
But yeah, I'm not actually "thinking" anymore, so sitting here is kind of a waste of time.
I don't have many plans for this week except working on my stuff. I have a 15 pg research paper due in exactly two weeks. The instructor says "this doesn't have to be the best writing of your life", but EVERYTHING must be the best writing of my life.
Right now, however, I need to get out of here and breathe some fresh air.
Monday, May 21, 2007
May 2007 Erase Racism Carnival @ The Angry Black Woman
May 2007 Erase Racism Carnival « The Angry Black Woman
Bf is often privy to my bursts of anger, sadness or dismay (and oh so rarely pride/happiness) at things in the media and society which point out things I know but sometimes forget. Things which most often involve marginalization/degradation of non-white people and/or women.
I don't say it like that though, I just get mad and use the word fuck a lot (and bullshit, too).
The Angry Black Woman is a blog I have recently started reading regularly (I must do a blog post on the folks I read each day), and this month the Erase Racism Carnival is at her place. Lot's of talk about media representations of race. Haven't had the chance to read through everything, but I wanted to put it out there for you.
Enjoy!
[Atrocious spelling mistakes fixed. Yeesh, I was in a state today.]
Bf is often privy to my bursts of anger, sadness or dismay (and oh so rarely pride/happiness) at things in the media and society which point out things I know but sometimes forget. Things which most often involve marginalization/degradation of non-white people and/or women.
I don't say it like that though, I just get mad and use the word fuck a lot (and bullshit, too).
The Angry Black Woman is a blog I have recently started reading regularly (I must do a blog post on the folks I read each day), and this month the Erase Racism Carnival is at her place. Lot's of talk about media representations of race. Haven't had the chance to read through everything, but I wanted to put it out there for you.
Enjoy!
[Atrocious spelling mistakes fixed. Yeesh, I was in a state today.]
Laughs at self
Had an interesting day yesterday. A lot of talking and drinking too much really good beer.
And today I'm a bit tired and unhappy with my lots of beer.
A moment ago I had a thought, which like many of my realizations about myself made me laugh.
In the time it took me to start this post, I *forgot* what I was laughing at.
Hmm.
If I didn't have to get the 7 year old to school, I would most likely be back in bed right now, listening to birds sing.
But instead, I will be waking and bathing my boy - he's gotten very tricky lately and gets out of baths both here and at his dad's. Since he's so young, he doesn't stink, but a bath thrice a week won't kill him, right?
And today I'm a bit tired and unhappy with my lots of beer.
A moment ago I had a thought, which like many of my realizations about myself made me laugh.
In the time it took me to start this post, I *forgot* what I was laughing at.
Hmm.
If I didn't have to get the 7 year old to school, I would most likely be back in bed right now, listening to birds sing.
But instead, I will be waking and bathing my boy - he's gotten very tricky lately and gets out of baths both here and at his dad's. Since he's so young, he doesn't stink, but a bath thrice a week won't kill him, right?
Saturday, May 19, 2007
What next?
Need something today, don't know what.
Have been having some pretty bad stomach aches, which I attribute to upping my fruit and veg intake by 700% this week. Perhaps I need to start making pureed soups or something to give myself a break?
I have a great recipe from the moosewood cookbook for a 'creamed' spinach soup which uses potato as a base. But it's nearly summer, so soup isn't all that appetizing.
This morning I think I'm going to try a protien shake and maybe some apple sauce.
Been so caught up in my head and yet the things I've been thinking about are so - weightless. Feel as though I'm wasting time but I think I am not.
Actually, I was just now *planning on wasting time* with a cup of coffee and a book.
But seeing as it's a plan and all, it has to be productive. Right?
Have been having some pretty bad stomach aches, which I attribute to upping my fruit and veg intake by 700% this week. Perhaps I need to start making pureed soups or something to give myself a break?
I have a great recipe from the moosewood cookbook for a 'creamed' spinach soup which uses potato as a base. But it's nearly summer, so soup isn't all that appetizing.
This morning I think I'm going to try a protien shake and maybe some apple sauce.
Been so caught up in my head and yet the things I've been thinking about are so - weightless. Feel as though I'm wasting time but I think I am not.
Actually, I was just now *planning on wasting time* with a cup of coffee and a book.
But seeing as it's a plan and all, it has to be productive. Right?
Friday, May 18, 2007
I want it all or nothing at all*
Realized last night that I am in a deeply introspective mood. This while sitting in great seats at Park West in Chicago, listening to incredible music and having a hell of a time getting my brain to STOP feeding me information beyond the music.
I thought about so much and at more than one point was *forcing* myself to stop thinking. I gave up and just tried to get more in touch with the outside world. You know the saying/trick: "Don't think about an elephant." What are you thinking about right now? Picturing in your head? An elephant, right?
When I finally stopped struggling against all of the connections my brain was making, instead of being washed away by the music I was noticing it in waves, like standing on the beach and having the waves rush over you. Not bad. Thankfully we get to see them again (I couldn't resist buying tickets when I saw that Porcupine Tree were coming back to the small venue in Milwaukee where we'd seen them in in 2005) in a couple of weeks, at which time I will stand as close to the front as my little ears can stand and let the music wash over me, go through me, and threaten, as PT does, to turn me inside out.
* a post title deserving of a second time out when I get my head together...
I thought about so much and at more than one point was *forcing* myself to stop thinking. I gave up and just tried to get more in touch with the outside world. You know the saying/trick: "Don't think about an elephant." What are you thinking about right now? Picturing in your head? An elephant, right?
When I finally stopped struggling against all of the connections my brain was making, instead of being washed away by the music I was noticing it in waves, like standing on the beach and having the waves rush over you. Not bad. Thankfully we get to see them again (I couldn't resist buying tickets when I saw that Porcupine Tree were coming back to the small venue in Milwaukee where we'd seen them in in 2005) in a couple of weeks, at which time I will stand as close to the front as my little ears can stand and let the music wash over me, go through me, and threaten, as PT does, to turn me inside out.
* a post title deserving of a second time out when I get my head together...
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
See the Cat? See the Cradle?
Just finished my first Vonnegut. I think the copy I have was either given to me by my friend Ted or a purchase inspired by him 4 years ago.
Wow. It was very good.
Next on my list is "Harry Potter y la Piedra Filosofal" (an all-summer project) and the two Cracker novels I have on hold at the library.
Wow. It was very good.
Next on my list is "Harry Potter y la Piedra Filosofal" (an all-summer project) and the two Cracker novels I have on hold at the library.
Huh.
There are three Amish men down the street erecting something which looks suspiciously like a barn on my neighbour's lawn.
A testament to my character that I did not stop to gawk, but the shit-eating grins of both my neighbour and the other non-Amish who were there convinced me to keep driving.
That was a pretty neat sight, though.
A testament to my character that I did not stop to gawk, but the shit-eating grins of both my neighbour and the other non-Amish who were there convinced me to keep driving.
That was a pretty neat sight, though.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Don't want to clean no more
No more.
I am really done with cleaning for the day - I keep thinking I'm going to go fiddle with some stuff and then I realize, no, I don't want to. Didn't leave the house until 5:30 this evening.
So tonight, while I REALLY wanna feel productive, I'm gonna go curl up on the couch and watch a bit of Sid & Nancy instead.
I am really done with cleaning for the day - I keep thinking I'm going to go fiddle with some stuff and then I realize, no, I don't want to. Didn't leave the house until 5:30 this evening.
So tonight, while I REALLY wanna feel productive, I'm gonna go curl up on the couch and watch a bit of Sid & Nancy instead.
Can't Stop.
Very very very busy today. Cleaning my house (major house cleaning) and no matter how much I do there is that much more to do. Will have to accept imperfection in the end.
Have until 5:00pm today, more or less, and after 7pm will start up again in earnest, doing as much as I can until 7am tomorrow. This is serious business.
Relocated my computer back to the room which served as office for many years, but for at least 2 has been a junk room. My bedroom and the kid's room is really lovely, but there are 4 rooms to go before I'm even close to being done.
Saturday's post on loneliness is scary! I really thought twice about posting it, and worried about it afterward, but I'm glad I did. Facing it and figuring out why it is will help me be a better person. Blah, blah, blah. But it's true.
Can't stop, must get back to work. Have a sticky 'v' key now, must disassemble my keyboard and clean it. No, not now! Later, though. When the living room, kitchen, dining room and playroom are clean. This weekend, perhaps.
Have until 5:00pm today, more or less, and after 7pm will start up again in earnest, doing as much as I can until 7am tomorrow. This is serious business.
Relocated my computer back to the room which served as office for many years, but for at least 2 has been a junk room. My bedroom and the kid's room is really lovely, but there are 4 rooms to go before I'm even close to being done.
Saturday's post on loneliness is scary! I really thought twice about posting it, and worried about it afterward, but I'm glad I did. Facing it and figuring out why it is will help me be a better person. Blah, blah, blah. But it's true.
Can't stop, must get back to work. Have a sticky 'v' key now, must disassemble my keyboard and clean it. No, not now! Later, though. When the living room, kitchen, dining room and playroom are clean. This weekend, perhaps.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Shine your teeth til meaningless
As I flossed my teeth this morning (and boy did they need it seeing as I somehow had misplaced the floss this week), the song "How to Fight Loneliness" by Wilco came into my head.
What most people don't know about me, at least casual observers, is that I am a very lonely person. I'm not always lonely, nor am I alone, but I feel, very often, a keen yearning for the company and companionship of others which is not often fulfilled.
Thinking about this song, I realize two things: I should spend more time feeling okay about the world, and I cannot fight my loneliness in the way the song describes (the suggestions are tongue in cheek anyhow). I cannot "smile all the time" no matter how hard I try, and sometimes it makes me feel lonelier. My life circumstances don't make drinking or going out to shows to find companionship practical. Nor do my desires or what makes me feel good.
A year ago I was in a lot of pain, all of the time. I often felt lonely and wondered why I should even be here. And I had absolutely no hope that those things would change. But...they have. Albeit slowly and with a one-step-forward-two-steps-back kind of rhythm.
Now, flossing done and melancholy at dangerous levels, it's time for me to goshine brush my teeth.
How to Fight Loneliness
How to fight loneliness?
Smile all the time
Shine your teeth 'til meaningless
And sharpen them with lies
And whatever's going down
Will follow you around
That's how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
And fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you ever need
That's how you fight it
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
What most people don't know about me, at least casual observers, is that I am a very lonely person. I'm not always lonely, nor am I alone, but I feel, very often, a keen yearning for the company and companionship of others which is not often fulfilled.
Thinking about this song, I realize two things: I should spend more time feeling okay about the world, and I cannot fight my loneliness in the way the song describes (the suggestions are tongue in cheek anyhow). I cannot "smile all the time" no matter how hard I try, and sometimes it makes me feel lonelier. My life circumstances don't make drinking or going out to shows to find companionship practical. Nor do my desires or what makes me feel good.
A year ago I was in a lot of pain, all of the time. I often felt lonely and wondered why I should even be here. And I had absolutely no hope that those things would change. But...they have. Albeit slowly and with a one-step-forward-two-steps-back kind of rhythm.
Now, flossing done and melancholy at dangerous levels, it's time for me to go
Friday, May 11, 2007
NHLBI Obesity Education Initiative
NHLBI Obesity Education Initiative
Have I told you the story about how I lost a whole bunch of weight a few years ago? Actually, 2005 was when I made my goal weight (152, although I got down to 150 at some point). I loved being so slender, and I bought lots of clothes.
Then, starting about a year ago, I started gaining weight. Cut to the end, I am now nearly 50 pounds heavier than my goal weight. Far too big to fit into the slightly larger duds I bought to wear last summer.
Not happy about that.
Although I've made moves and noises toward losing during the past 6 months - tonight it was decided: I'm going to lose 35 pounds. My goal is a very ambitious 18 weeks (1.9 lbs/week). It seems absolutely mad, and we'll see how long my resolve lasts, but I need something, and I need it now.
My current BMI is 30.1, which puts me in the obese range. Ahem. Yeah, after all the work I put in to lose the weight the frst time, I'm not too thrilled with it. My goal is to get to a BMI of 25.1, which puts me in the 'normal' weight range.
So there it is. I'm not going to blog about it a lot because this blog isn't about that. But I'll let you know of any major events.
If any one wants to join me in friendly weight loss (or friendly competitive weight loss ala Massive Beasts) let me know.
At some point it will behoove me to write about the larger social implications of weight and body size, body image, media, etc. But right now it's about my life and what I think will make me feel better. Plus, the clothes! I'm too cheap to buy new ones.
Have I told you the story about how I lost a whole bunch of weight a few years ago? Actually, 2005 was when I made my goal weight (152, although I got down to 150 at some point). I loved being so slender, and I bought lots of clothes.
Then, starting about a year ago, I started gaining weight. Cut to the end, I am now nearly 50 pounds heavier than my goal weight. Far too big to fit into the slightly larger duds I bought to wear last summer.
Not happy about that.
Although I've made moves and noises toward losing during the past 6 months - tonight it was decided: I'm going to lose 35 pounds. My goal is a very ambitious 18 weeks (1.9 lbs/week). It seems absolutely mad, and we'll see how long my resolve lasts, but I need something, and I need it now.
My current BMI is 30.1, which puts me in the obese range. Ahem. Yeah, after all the work I put in to lose the weight the frst time, I'm not too thrilled with it. My goal is to get to a BMI of 25.1, which puts me in the 'normal' weight range.
So there it is. I'm not going to blog about it a lot because this blog isn't about that. But I'll let you know of any major events.
If any one wants to join me in friendly weight loss (or friendly competitive weight loss ala Massive Beasts) let me know.
At some point it will behoove me to write about the larger social implications of weight and body size, body image, media, etc. But right now it's about my life and what I think will make me feel better. Plus, the clothes! I'm too cheap to buy new ones.
The Pfc. LaVena Johnson Petition
The Pfc. LaVena Johnson Petition
Philip Barron, aka Waveflux (of Waveflux and Shakespeare's Sister) has been writing a lot about the case of LaVena Johnson, who was killed in Iraq.
Her parents were told it was a suicide but since learning of her death a lot of questions have been raised about the cirmcumstances of her death.
The link above goes to a petition site which is also full of information on the case and LaVena Johnson. The purpose of the petition is to urge the Armed Service Committees of the House and Senate to reopen the investigation into her death.
I urge you to take a look at the site and then go sign the petition.
Philip Barron, aka Waveflux (of Waveflux and Shakespeare's Sister) has been writing a lot about the case of LaVena Johnson, who was killed in Iraq.
Her parents were told it was a suicide but since learning of her death a lot of questions have been raised about the cirmcumstances of her death.
The link above goes to a petition site which is also full of information on the case and LaVena Johnson. The purpose of the petition is to urge the Armed Service Committees of the House and Senate to reopen the investigation into her death.
I urge you to take a look at the site and then go sign the petition.
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