Monday, March 26, 2007

Hell no, this isn't a real update

I won't even pretend that it is a real update.

This is another "movies I'm gonna tell you about sometime" post.

Wet Hot American Summer
The Audition
Stuart Saves His Family
The Baxter

I need to write about Battle Star Galactica, Life on Mars, Doctor Who, Masterpiece Theater (specifically Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson), and... no, that's it.

Oh, and I'm anxiously awaiting the new Simon Pegg/Nick Frost film Hot Fuzz, so I should do a post on Shaun of the Dead, Spaced, Hyperdrive and...Confetti.

In general I rec everything in this post - The Audition I have some reservations about though. Grisly, a bit.

And notice I don't say anything about life, my mental health or school in this post...

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Monsters in my house

The 7 yo created this scary plasticine monster the other day - he's only got a little bit of clay, so we had to take some photos to remember this one by so he could create more monsters.

That boy is mighty talented, I'll tell you what.

Monday, March 19, 2007

For your anticipation

Reviews of the films I've seen in the past couple of weeks:

In the Theater now:
The Last King of Scotland

Beowulf and Grendel
The Red Shoes
(and two more I can't remember the names of at the moment)

And my 12 year old's play, which was very good!

All forthcoming when I catch up on my homework. I've been pro-diddly-o-crastinating in a big way* and need to get back to work, pronto.

*so much so that I'm missing the first hour of drama this morning! yikes!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Close this door, open that one

I've been having a hard time of it lately. "The Future" in all of it's unknown glory has been vexing me. The facts of life that I cannot change have been weighing on my too heavily, as they do. And the happiness I was swimming in last week seemed like a drop in my sea of despair I found myself in this one.

Some relationships in my life need closure. I've been wrestling with telling my father that I am officially leaving our father-daughter relationship for the [greener?] pastures of estrangement. This week I decided that I would do it, but I'm still not sure how. So that has been sad.

In other news, I have been wondering whether to make a big comittment (more officially, as with the estrangement from my dad, this has been unofficial as well), and just this Thursday, after a mid-afternoon movie date with myself, I decided I would. I feel gladness and relief (and yes, excitement) at taking this next step in my life.

More news on that at some point.

Lastly,I wanted to note that nearly a year of therapy has provided me with tons of practical skills for dealing with my mood swings, depression, etc., and when I am really struggling, it helps, even when I think "nothing is helping!!!".

Monday, March 12, 2007


I am tired today.

The new daylight saving time thing was doubly sad when I realized just how precious that early morning light is to me. I could care less about an additional afternoon hour of light. Give me that early morning "let's get out of bed, it's sunny!" energy any day.

Also, I got an 88 on my oral final in Spanish. Despite that dismal grade, I did get an A in the class. Same for Speech. Only 8 more weeks of obsessing about my grades!

Tomorrow is a day off and I suspect I will do fuck-all and enjoy it.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Seriously Happy

Last night as bf and I were riding through snowy streets after an early evening showing of "Zodiac"*, I said, "I have something serious to say. I'm happy."

"Seeing a movie about a serial killer makes you happy?" bf asked, in his inimitable let's-see-how-much-shit-I-can-give-you way.

"I just thought I'd never be happy again," I said, ignoring his ribbing.

"But I'm happy. I really didn't think I would be, ever ever again. But I am."

*will report on this film later.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007


Birds who eat bees (a very striking picture of a bee-eater just about to chomp down on a cicada here).

Monday, March 05, 2007

10 days ago

My car broke down in the driveway at school.

Bockfest 07

What can be said about Bockfest at Capital Brewery (last Saturday in February, remember the snowstorm? It happened right after Bockfest)? It was cold, the beer was tasty, and the company was fine.

It wasn't until the next day that I figured out that a liter was 36 oz or so (is that right?). Oh, my. I had more beer than I'd bargained for. Next year I'll be wearing snow pants and astronaut diapers and 4+ hours in the cold will be a breeze!

Oh, the picture is of the brewmaster throwing smoked chubs into the crowd. Yes, it was a very Wisconsin-y day.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Cookies and -Crastination

I made these heart-shaped chocolate chip cookies for 7yo's class for Valentines Day. They were tasty, but not as nice as I'd hoped (a bit too buttery, if you can believe it). Next year I am banning these - a regular rolled cookie is much easier to put together - although I will admit that not having to frost is a good thing.

Writing this, I realize that Halloween, Birthday and Valentines days are holidays on which I am extremely indulgent of my children's wishes, even when I don't "feel" like it. It must be because those are my favourites? Who knows. Parents are crazy.

Bf and I were talking this past weekend (en Español: Mi novio y yo hablamos el fin de semana pasado), about how I wasn't doing my school work and somehow the concept of PRE-crastination came up. It's the period before one actually begins PRO-crastinating. Unfortunately the precrastination is well over and procrastination reigns supreme.

Last night I got home from my writers group and the poor hamster was acting all nutty, so I got her out of her cage and was struck my the DESPERATE urge to clean her cage. Turns out it was even filthier than I'd though, so it wasn't a wasted effort by any means. As I cleaned, I began wondering if I was a little manic these days. I've been sleeping less, and eating oddly*, but both of those things can be explained: I've got a lot of school work to do and end up staying up late to finish/work on it, and I haven't had much motivation to shop for food. On the other hand, I'm restless and having difficulty concentrating, which is perhaps why I have not been taking super great care of myself.

I'm not questioning myself deeply, nor doubting my sanity (I'm still clinging to that with an iron grasp), it's just that I have to stay vigilant and modify my schedule, diet, etc. in order to stay on top of mood changes and let them do as little damage as possible.

*I have been really not very hungry, and not picking out food very well. Yesterday it hit me, I wanted an apple - so I'm officially on an apple kick.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Ray (of light)

First of all, let me say that it is about 36 degrees F here right now, and sleeting (that's frozen-ish rain), overcast, and frankly, depressing as hell.

I've been given a reprieve and have no speech tomorrow, so you'd think I might be working on my speech, right? No. I'm sitting at my desk trying to get organized, and simply put, failing.

I decided to watch the latest installment of The Show, Ze Frank's podcast. It's nearly ending (he is doing it for a year), and yesterday's ep was a "very special" The Show, because it is an interview with Ray.

Ray is a man who recorded a song for his daughter when she was at her wits end in her new job. It's called "About to Whip Somebodies Ass", and it's something I wish I'd had on my ipod when I worked at my last job.

Anyhow, there is a whole community (the Sports Racers) over at Ze's, and they did remixes and a video for the song made up of images people sent in. They tracked down Ray and Ze's interview runs about 14 minutes. This from a podcast which usually clocks in well under 3 minutes.

The show is here (look on the sidebar to the right to hear the song and remixes), and it made me feel better to listen to Ray talk. Sometimes I really wish I had a dad I trusted and could go to for advice. Yes, poor me. But I just like to hear Ray speak because he's one of those "student of life" people, and I hope to feel as though I am too, one day.

Weather update: Now it's just RAINING. And thundering. I think I should eat some chocolate.

Yes, and do some homework. All the while humming, "I'm about to whip somebodies ass.."