I've been having a hard time of it lately. "The Future" in all of it's unknown glory has been vexing me. The facts of life that I cannot change have been weighing on my too heavily, as they do. And the happiness I was swimming in last week seemed like a drop in my sea of despair I found myself in this one.
Some relationships in my life need closure. I've been wrestling with telling my father that I am officially leaving our father-daughter relationship for the [greener?] pastures of estrangement. This week I decided that I would do it, but I'm still not sure how. So that has been sad.
In other news, I have been wondering whether to make a big comittment (more officially, as with the estrangement from my dad, this has been unofficial as well), and just this Thursday, after a mid-afternoon movie date with myself, I decided I would. I feel gladness and relief (and yes, excitement) at taking this next step in my life.
More news on that at some point.
Lastly,I wanted to note that nearly a year of therapy has provided me with tons of practical skills for dealing with my mood swings, depression, etc., and when I am really struggling, it helps, even when I think "nothing is helping!!!".