Also, a cutie. Here he is!
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Ava-tava-doooo!
Okay, so Fred Flinstone has nothing to do with this post, or this avatar, but the 7-year-old said "I want you to put mine on there." And he's the boss.
Also, a cutie. Here he is!
Also, a cutie. Here he is!
Friday, June 29, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
I'm fat
And in love with Joy Nash, after seeing her Fat Rant (via Kate Harding's awesome blog, Shapely Prose).
Unfortunately, aside from being fat, I have gotten myself into a very bad non-moving-my-body space (depression and isolating don't help),which is exacerbated by the hours upon hours I need to be sitting at the computer each day to complete my algebra assignments.
This morning I was craving pilates, so I put in the Pilates DVD I have and cranked it up to "fully modified", and found out that I have serious pain all over my body. My FEET hurt when I was doing toe exercises. I've been wondering (for more than 3 years) if I might have fibromyalgia - I'll need to talk to a doctor about that at some point.
But now it's some stretching, then some studying, then my midterm - an later, beer and blog talk at the MadInteractive event (bf is on the panel, isn't that cool?).
Anyhow, in honor of the Fat Rant and myself, I'm taking down my weight loss meter at the bottom of the page.
Unfortunately, aside from being fat, I have gotten myself into a very bad non-moving-my-body space (depression and isolating don't help),which is exacerbated by the hours upon hours I need to be sitting at the computer each day to complete my algebra assignments.
This morning I was craving pilates, so I put in the Pilates DVD I have and cranked it up to "fully modified", and found out that I have serious pain all over my body. My FEET hurt when I was doing toe exercises. I've been wondering (for more than 3 years) if I might have fibromyalgia - I'll need to talk to a doctor about that at some point.
But now it's some stretching, then some studying, then my midterm - an later, beer and blog talk at the MadInteractive event (bf is on the panel, isn't that cool?).
Anyhow, in honor of the Fat Rant and myself, I'm taking down my weight loss meter at the bottom of the page.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Bled Dry
Today is hard again. Just like that.
I guess I really did need to talk about what I was feeling, as laughing and ignoring the situation doesn't allieviate it.
I'm so sad, so worried, lacking hope, and focus.
This, as they say, sucks.
I guess I really did need to talk about what I was feeling, as laughing and ignoring the situation doesn't allieviate it.
I'm so sad, so worried, lacking hope, and focus.
This, as they say, sucks.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
I'm only bleeding
Here's me:
(via dictionary.com)
The worst thing about 'how I get sometimes' is how much sense it makes: because I am broken and imperfect I should kill myself. And there seems little else that would so perfectly and completely solve the problem that is me; the inconvenience to others, and all the other negative effects of my existence.
But there are many layers of logic and feeling between me and those feelings, at least in deed. I promise to let those layersbreak my fall stop me from jumping.
(90 minutes later)
I feel better now, after some music and a cup of coffee. I think sometimes lose sight to how much I need to talk about what I am feeling. I have been keeping things to myself precisely because I don't want to be a burden, but that, obviously, isn't working too well. Still figuring this all out, still figuring me all out. And singing some dolorous shanty tune about the weary cutters and the weary sea taking my laddie, that's helped too.
dolorous \DOH-luh-ruhs\, adjective:
Marked by, causing, or expressing grief or sorrow.
Dolorous derives from Latin dolor, "pain, grief, sorrow," from dolere, "to suffer pain, to grieve."
(via dictionary.com)
The worst thing about 'how I get sometimes' is how much sense it makes: because I am broken and imperfect I should kill myself. And there seems little else that would so perfectly and completely solve the problem that is me; the inconvenience to others, and all the other negative effects of my existence.
But there are many layers of logic and feeling between me and those feelings, at least in deed. I promise to let those layers
(90 minutes later)
I feel better now, after some music and a cup of coffee. I think sometimes lose sight to how much I need to talk about what I am feeling. I have been keeping things to myself precisely because I don't want to be a burden, but that, obviously, isn't working too well. Still figuring this all out, still figuring me all out. And singing some dolorous shanty tune about the weary cutters and the weary sea taking my laddie, that's helped too.
Friday, June 22, 2007
What makes a girl?
Okay, the post title has more ambition than what I came to post about, but as I was reviewing my Shrek the Third review, I remembered a poignant moment at the 7-year-old's dentist this week. As he was picking out his sticker, I noticed that under the roll of disney princess stickers was a small pile of Snow White stickers.
You know Snow White. the Black Haired princess. With a bob.
Yep, that's the one, the short and dark haired princess. Who is, apparently, not all that popular with the little girls.
And thinking about that reminded me of when I bartered at the childcare place at the YMCA, and a girl asked me if I were a girl or a boy. This was when I had a very "short natural" haircut. But at the time, I was wearing a skirt, had my nails painted, and if I recall correctly, had on a form-fitting t-shirt. In case you don't know, I'm a busty gal. To me it nearly defies explanation how someone could see me as I looked that day and "not be sure". Even a 4-year-old. But this kid, this apparently terribly sheltered kid couldn't recognize that I was female simply because I had short hair. That, I think, is indicative of how deeply fucked up society is 'round here.
So think about it, would you, and if you want to, tell me what makes a girl.
You know Snow White. the Black Haired princess. With a bob.
Yep, that's the one, the short and dark haired princess. Who is, apparently, not all that popular with the little girls.
And thinking about that reminded me of when I bartered at the childcare place at the YMCA, and a girl asked me if I were a girl or a boy. This was when I had a very "short natural" haircut. But at the time, I was wearing a skirt, had my nails painted, and if I recall correctly, had on a form-fitting t-shirt. In case you don't know, I'm a busty gal. To me it nearly defies explanation how someone could see me as I looked that day and "not be sure". Even a 4-year-old. But this kid, this apparently terribly sheltered kid couldn't recognize that I was female simply because I had short hair. That, I think, is indicative of how deeply fucked up society is 'round here.
So think about it, would you, and if you want to, tell me what makes a girl.
A better (but not perfect) world
Constant readers may remember my dislike of the messages in "Shrek the Third", and I'm happy to report that the children's film I saw yesterday was a lovely antidote to that sexist, *, stunningly executed piece of garbage.
"Bridge to Terabithia" was shot in the US and New Zealand, and the cast of kids at school was a great (perhaps idealized, but hey, it's using your imagination, which is what the film is all about) mix of colours and styles. It wasn't full of cookie cutters, and the possible stereotypes were tweaked pretty well.
There was a great message for parents, I thought, about having time for your kids (dads, hug your boys!) Overall it showed kids that they did not have to make a choice between 'reality' and creativity/happiness - they can coexist. And there were some decent attempts at encouraging empathy, standing up for yourself, etc. After one scene which showed the result of selective violence (comeuppance for a 'bad guy'), I laughed and laughed. Like I told the 7 year old afterward: I generally don't like punching, but sometimes people deserve a punch in the nose**.
It's a fun film with a bit of sadness (warning, bring tissues), great pacing, and for the most part a bad soundtrack (little heavy on girly pop which wears on me quickly). The film was based on a novel, which I remember seeing at the library when I was a kid. I'm planning to pick it up at the library this summer, finally giving it a read.
*what's a simple world for not noticing that there are other people besides white people in the world? - although I believe the situation stems from racism, I think it's to simplistic to call it racism, it must be better defined than that.
**hours after writing this I read it again and wonder if that came out how I feel it - I mean: dammit, there is a time for words (which is also pointed out very explicitly in the film) and a time to DO SOMETHING. Which may be having fun with your best friend or may be punching a jerk in the nose. Punching, is to be used sparingly, in extreme circumstances.
Postscript
While looking at reviews of this film just now, I came across this awful review at Slashfilm (don't click if you hate spoilers, there are many here), and although there are thoughtful comments, many of them were about how awful the film was, not enough special effects, etc. I left my own 'brilliant' comment there. One commenter mentioned actually avoiding the film, but the negative comments encouraged them to check it out. I can only hope that in lieu of children's films (hell, all films) being properly marketed, more people like me will write about films they were pleasantly surprised by.
"Bridge to Terabithia" was shot in the US and New Zealand, and the cast of kids at school was a great (perhaps idealized, but hey, it's using your imagination, which is what the film is all about) mix of colours and styles. It wasn't full of cookie cutters, and the possible stereotypes were tweaked pretty well.
There was a great message for parents, I thought, about having time for your kids (dads, hug your boys!) Overall it showed kids that they did not have to make a choice between 'reality' and creativity/happiness - they can coexist. And there were some decent attempts at encouraging empathy, standing up for yourself, etc. After one scene which showed the result of selective violence (comeuppance for a 'bad guy'), I laughed and laughed. Like I told the 7 year old afterward: I generally don't like punching, but sometimes people deserve a punch in the nose**.
It's a fun film with a bit of sadness (warning, bring tissues), great pacing, and for the most part a bad soundtrack (little heavy on girly pop which wears on me quickly). The film was based on a novel, which I remember seeing at the library when I was a kid. I'm planning to pick it up at the library this summer, finally giving it a read.
*what's a simple world for not noticing that there are other people besides white people in the world? - although I believe the situation stems from racism, I think it's to simplistic to call it racism, it must be better defined than that.
**hours after writing this I read it again and wonder if that came out how I feel it - I mean: dammit, there is a time for words (which is also pointed out very explicitly in the film) and a time to DO SOMETHING. Which may be having fun with your best friend or may be punching a jerk in the nose. Punching, is to be used sparingly, in extreme circumstances.
Postscript
While looking at reviews of this film just now, I came across this awful review at Slashfilm (don't click if you hate spoilers, there are many here), and although there are thoughtful comments, many of them were about how awful the film was, not enough special effects, etc. I left my own 'brilliant' comment there. One commenter mentioned actually avoiding the film, but the negative comments encouraged them to check it out. I can only hope that in lieu of children's films (hell, all films) being properly marketed, more people like me will write about films they were pleasantly surprised by.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
The Autonymph and the very bad, no good day.
I've decided to leave out the detail and just say: I'm having a bad day and I don't know what to do with my life.
I'm taking a note from the Hippocratic Oath: First, DO NO HARM.
This means, no phone calls emails, or in person harangues today.
I'm going to keep to myself today, and may even skip Algebra class (Wednesdays are 'optional' lab days. Turns out the prof isn't going to do ANY lecturing).
My moods, like the weather, are prone to change. I can wait it out.
I'm taking a note from the Hippocratic Oath: First, DO NO HARM.
This means, no phone calls emails, or in person harangues today.
I'm going to keep to myself today, and may even skip Algebra class (Wednesdays are 'optional' lab days. Turns out the prof isn't going to do ANY lecturing).
My moods, like the weather, are prone to change. I can wait it out.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Delish
Dinner Friday night was a smashing success. I made a super special dinner, based on the dinner his aunt asked for one year (which became a tradition, right Ted?). Spaghetti and Chocolate cake.
Since Ted and I were talking while I was at the grocery store, I had a chance to pick up all of the ingredients, ground sirloin and pork for the meatballs, a bottle of locally produced ragu, the cappellini pasta, and sour cream for the cake. I ended up making a chocolate sour cream cake with a chocolate sour cream frosting which was, if I do say so myself, really good.
The dinner was muy riquisima , and I ate too much (we had a very simple green salad and garlic bread as accompaniments).
Afterward we talked for a while and then we watched "Ricky Jay and his 52 Assistants", which was a lot of fun.
Unlike most of Ted's visits, I kicked him out early so I could go to bed, so our usual talking too late into the night couldn't happen. Unfortunately he only let me send him home with three measly pieces of cake, so I've been eating delicious chocolate cake all week. Yum! Tonight I'm going to feed bf some of the meatballs in meatball sandwich form, which I am pretty excited about.
It's so nice to make a special meal for someone, and I love birthdays, so it was a nice combination of those things. Growing up for me has meant letting go of the idea that I will be treated specially for my birthday (without having to tell people to do it), but it still is nice to celebrate, even if it's just by spending time together. Also, there is CAKE.
Since Ted and I were talking while I was at the grocery store, I had a chance to pick up all of the ingredients, ground sirloin and pork for the meatballs, a bottle of locally produced ragu, the cappellini pasta, and sour cream for the cake. I ended up making a chocolate sour cream cake with a chocolate sour cream frosting which was, if I do say so myself, really good.
The dinner was muy riquisima , and I ate too much (we had a very simple green salad and garlic bread as accompaniments).
Afterward we talked for a while and then we watched "Ricky Jay and his 52 Assistants", which was a lot of fun.
Unlike most of Ted's visits, I kicked him out early so I could go to bed, so our usual talking too late into the night couldn't happen. Unfortunately he only let me send him home with three measly pieces of cake, so I've been eating delicious chocolate cake all week. Yum! Tonight I'm going to feed bf some of the meatballs in meatball sandwich form, which I am pretty excited about.
It's so nice to make a special meal for someone, and I love birthdays, so it was a nice combination of those things. Growing up for me has meant letting go of the idea that I will be treated specially for my birthday (without having to tell people to do it), but it still is nice to celebrate, even if it's just by spending time together. Also, there is CAKE.
Monday, June 18, 2007
When it rains it pours: late spring gift edition
My boyfriend has been known to shower me with gifts. He was feeling expansive and generous on Saturday, and picked up a few lovely things. First off a box of chocolates from our local chocolatier Gail Ambrosius. I even shared all but one of the delicacies within. It being so hot and humid, fine chocolate must be sored someplace cool and dry or eaten immediately. We chose the eaten immediately option (which may explain why my ankles aren't swollen today) .
He also picked up a really unique item - Cocoa Pulp Fruit Spread. It is, literally, a jam-like concoction of 90% Cacao pulp and 10% sugar. Very tasty. I'm thinking of making up shortcakes, slathering them with said concoction, and serving them with Chocolate Shoppe Vanilla Ice Cream.
And to top if off, I am now the proud owner of a CD by The Handsome Family. I haven't taken it out yet, but I'm taking bets as to whether "Puddin' Fingers" or "Drunk by Noon" will be my favourite song. Right now I've got some red beans slowly simmering in some Futhermore Knotstock in an attempt to recreate the beans I made for the Tyranena Brewing Hopluck last Thursday. We head up there for crawfish, food and good beer and were not disappointed. A fun time. Bf's stewed corn was a taste sensation.
Algebra is rediculous. I've been logged into the system for 30 hours out of the last week. IT's like a bad Sci-Fi story, I'm just looking at a screen, insensible to all outside stimulation. Okay, that's not true. Just *most* outside stimulation. I'm really frustrated that right now the only thing standing between me and getting into the University of WI is Math. But I have to take these classes sometime. Blargh.
Ah... Just ate a piece of crispy bacon. Everything is right with the world.
He also picked up a really unique item - Cocoa Pulp Fruit Spread. It is, literally, a jam-like concoction of 90% Cacao pulp and 10% sugar. Very tasty. I'm thinking of making up shortcakes, slathering them with said concoction, and serving them with Chocolate Shoppe Vanilla Ice Cream.
And to top if off, I am now the proud owner of a CD by The Handsome Family. I haven't taken it out yet, but I'm taking bets as to whether "Puddin' Fingers" or "Drunk by Noon" will be my favourite song. Right now I've got some red beans slowly simmering in some Futhermore Knotstock in an attempt to recreate the beans I made for the Tyranena Brewing Hopluck last Thursday. We head up there for crawfish, food and good beer and were not disappointed. A fun time. Bf's stewed corn was a taste sensation.
Algebra is rediculous. I've been logged into the system for 30 hours out of the last week. IT's like a bad Sci-Fi story, I'm just looking at a screen, insensible to all outside stimulation. Okay, that's not true. Just *most* outside stimulation. I'm really frustrated that right now the only thing standing between me and getting into the University of WI is Math. But I have to take these classes sometime. Blargh.
Ah... Just ate a piece of crispy bacon. Everything is right with the world.
Sleep: Makes life mo bettah
Wow, you know a nap is restorative when I woke from one, did my assignment for Algebra without crying, and kind of feel human again.
Srsly people, the maths are killng me.
::dies::
Srsly people, the maths are killng me.
::dies::
Friday, June 15, 2007
Reach out and touch someone
Today I just happened to call my friend Ted, and during the call I just happened to remember that he was born 37 years ago today, and although he doesn't celebrate his birthday, I was calling, coincidentally, to invite him over for dinner. And he accepted. So we are having a dinner for Habeas Corpus, which, according to the ACLU, is having it's anniversary today.
I hope Habeas Corpus likes cake!
So, when the urge hits, I urge you to pick up the phone and call someone you have been thinking of. There may be cake in your future. Makes good sense, doesn't it?
Oh no, I have to call my Grandmother, right away!
I hope Habeas Corpus likes cake!
So, when the urge hits, I urge you to pick up the phone and call someone you have been thinking of. There may be cake in your future. Makes good sense, doesn't it?
Oh no, I have to call my Grandmother, right away!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
