Tell me something good!
I've been reading news blogs today and thinking far too deeply for my mental health.
Plus, I did poorly on my exam and although in the scope of things it's not a big deal, it really made me upset for a bit. Got up, dusted myself off and got back to work.
But still!
Okay, really, I'm nearly over it. It's a lot nicer to worry about than let's say...lot's of other stuff.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Cool
It has cooled off from temperatures in the 80s to the 60s...
And I am happy about it.
Now I'm off to take my oral exam for Spanish.
Hooray!
And I am happy about it.
Now I'm off to take my oral exam for Spanish.
Hooray!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
"An IUD For The Boys"
The Well-Timed Period: An IUD For The Boys
WOW! I think this is a really interesting development. My IUD is a real blessing (except for the anemia). I love this idea. And seeing as it's far easier to reverse and inexpensive... Very cool.
WOW! I think this is a really interesting development. My IUD is a real blessing (except for the anemia). I love this idea. And seeing as it's far easier to reverse and inexpensive... Very cool.
"Mental Health is Everyone’s Business"
Mental Health is Everyone’s Business: Historical Reflections on the Virginia Tech Shootings
I don't watch much (if any, really) television news, and I haven't read a newspaper in months, so I spared myself of the non stop data/speculation orgy that was going on right after the killings at Virginia Tech. I guess, actually, that I took in as much as I could that first day, and when I realized some of the facts about the case, I made a decision to not seek out more information.
In other words, I got enough information to know that I wasn't going to get any more.
However, I have listened when people who know about this kind of thing speak (or in the case of the linked article, write). This Tuesday on Democracy Now there was an interesting interview with Katherine Newman, a Princeton faculty member and author of a book on the social origins of school shootings.
In reading the article I link to above (written by Heather Munro Prescott, a professor of history and author of a book on student health services), I was reminded that having andadmitting to mental health problems can be detrimental to your school career. Sigh.* Until recently there weren't any really noticable repercussions in my life in general (from disclosing my mental health history), but when it rained, it poured. I'm glad that there are mechanisms in place at my institution of higher learning to help me and not harm me.
As an aside, there was also a great segment on the NRAs lobbying to get guns onto college campuses and school grounds. Freaky stuff. Those people are really nuts.
*You know, there is a point where I stop and think "someone might think I am somehow defending the shooter in Virginia", and then I reject that thought, because if a person extrapolates that from what I have written they are really stretching things. I'm learning (but obviously, still doing so) to say what I mean and not have to qualify everything.
I don't watch much (if any, really) television news, and I haven't read a newspaper in months, so I spared myself of the non stop data/speculation orgy that was going on right after the killings at Virginia Tech. I guess, actually, that I took in as much as I could that first day, and when I realized some of the facts about the case, I made a decision to not seek out more information.
In other words, I got enough information to know that I wasn't going to get any more.
However, I have listened when people who know about this kind of thing speak (or in the case of the linked article, write). This Tuesday on Democracy Now there was an interesting interview with Katherine Newman, a Princeton faculty member and author of a book on the social origins of school shootings.
In reading the article I link to above (written by Heather Munro Prescott, a professor of history and author of a book on student health services), I was reminded that having andadmitting to mental health problems can be detrimental to your school career. Sigh.* Until recently there weren't any really noticable repercussions in my life in general (from disclosing my mental health history), but when it rained, it poured. I'm glad that there are mechanisms in place at my institution of higher learning to help me and not harm me.
As an aside, there was also a great segment on the NRAs lobbying to get guns onto college campuses and school grounds. Freaky stuff. Those people are really nuts.
*You know, there is a point where I stop and think "someone might think I am somehow defending the shooter in Virginia", and then I reject that thought, because if a person extrapolates that from what I have written they are really stretching things. I'm learning (but obviously, still doing so) to say what I mean and not have to qualify everything.
Rational Thinking
In my Myth Magic and Religion Anthro course, we talked about the ideal of Rational vs. Irrational thinking and how humans are really arational thinkers (of course, cannot remember subtleties of this discussion nor who coined the 'arational' term - and is that two rs? looks weird with one).
But I am up at 2 am (again, waking from sleep insomnia strikes), and suddenly have this unformed discussion about rationalism in my head. Oh, I know, was thinking about astrology, by which I am occasionally fascinated. Bf thinks it is a bunch of hooey, which for prognostication purposes may be true. But how interesting that there are thick tomes written trying to understand the world through the stars. And not just "the stars", but the precise placement of stars in the sky.
It is a STUDY, regardless of the final use of the data collected. And I enjoy reading my horoscopes, if only as a daily meditative exercise (but honestly, sometimes I just enjoy them for the 'drama' they provide).
The myth of rational thought is pretty pervasive in our culture. The rational is thought to be cold, calculating and pure, the emotional to be hot, impulsive and contaminated. But rational thought, for humans, isn't as easy as it seems. Nor, in my opinion, is it as universally necessary as the rational thought camp thinks.
What makes a rational thought isn't as objective as we'd like to think. To my mind, it can be a rational decision for a person to commit suicide - but some people would typify that as irrational, always. To (at least some of the) people who voted for George Bush twice, that was a rational decision. To me? Crazy as hell.
The idea of rational vs. irrational is largely about seeing the world as Western vs. Not as well. That the mythologies of the dominant religions in the west (Judeo Xtan and Islamic traditions) are not "magic", but other (generally smaller indigenous) religious traditions are considered magical and therefore lesser is the largest example of this. And within the larger context many people in the US have been calling Islam an irrational religion while ignoring the irrational nature of Christianity).
For me, being absolutist about anything is not the ideal. Of course, I am like a dish full of mercury*, never staying in one cohesive piece for long, able to split and regroup around ideas and ideologies.
This is not to say that I am 'against' rational thinking. Of course not. Some days calculating rational thought is all that keeps me from running away to join the circus. Irrational thoughts can be helpful as well - being free to think about all of the options, no matter how unrealistic, is a part of being creative. Knowing when it's time to be rational and time to be irrational seems to be a valuable skill.
With all that I see and hear and my one-step-back position from most discussions and situations, I just don't feel I need to pick a camp. I like it here on my small patch of a-rational land.
*This makes vast amounts of sense, seeing that I am a Gemini, who is influenced very heavily by the planet Mercury. Just saying.
But I am up at 2 am (again, waking from sleep insomnia strikes), and suddenly have this unformed discussion about rationalism in my head. Oh, I know, was thinking about astrology, by which I am occasionally fascinated. Bf thinks it is a bunch of hooey, which for prognostication purposes may be true. But how interesting that there are thick tomes written trying to understand the world through the stars. And not just "the stars", but the precise placement of stars in the sky.
It is a STUDY, regardless of the final use of the data collected. And I enjoy reading my horoscopes, if only as a daily meditative exercise (but honestly, sometimes I just enjoy them for the 'drama' they provide).
The myth of rational thought is pretty pervasive in our culture. The rational is thought to be cold, calculating and pure, the emotional to be hot, impulsive and contaminated. But rational thought, for humans, isn't as easy as it seems. Nor, in my opinion, is it as universally necessary as the rational thought camp thinks.
What makes a rational thought isn't as objective as we'd like to think. To my mind, it can be a rational decision for a person to commit suicide - but some people would typify that as irrational, always. To (at least some of the) people who voted for George Bush twice, that was a rational decision. To me? Crazy as hell.
The idea of rational vs. irrational is largely about seeing the world as Western vs. Not as well. That the mythologies of the dominant religions in the west (Judeo Xtan and Islamic traditions) are not "magic", but other (generally smaller indigenous) religious traditions are considered magical and therefore lesser is the largest example of this. And within the larger context many people in the US have been calling Islam an irrational religion while ignoring the irrational nature of Christianity).
For me, being absolutist about anything is not the ideal. Of course, I am like a dish full of mercury*, never staying in one cohesive piece for long, able to split and regroup around ideas and ideologies.
This is not to say that I am 'against' rational thinking. Of course not. Some days calculating rational thought is all that keeps me from running away to join the circus. Irrational thoughts can be helpful as well - being free to think about all of the options, no matter how unrealistic, is a part of being creative. Knowing when it's time to be rational and time to be irrational seems to be a valuable skill.
With all that I see and hear and my one-step-back position from most discussions and situations, I just don't feel I need to pick a camp. I like it here on my small patch of a-rational land.
*This makes vast amounts of sense, seeing that I am a Gemini, who is influenced very heavily by the planet Mercury. Just saying.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Up and at them
Oh boy, I am in a stay-in-bed-listening-to-the-birds-chirp mood, but there is no one to make me coffee or bring me something to read.
Had a tree 'fall down' in the back yard, lukcily it was a small one. Bf came over on the weekend and felled it as well as cutting it into pieces. Yesterday afternoon I got the boys to help me take the brush to the front yard (praying they are going to pick it up soon). Like herding cats to get those children to do such a chore. Jeez.
Bf came over for a bit after work and helped me get all of the leaves up (yes, I hadn't finished a lot of autmnal yard work last year). I took a wee break to recharge and mowed the lawn! It's been a long time since I had that much energy - it's exciting to be back. If only I didn't have so much cleaning to do.
Around 9:30 last night started up the flan for my Spanish class party today - it's better the next day of course, but overnight will have to do.
Oh, and for dinner, I had a QUART of organic strawberries. I was only going to have a few but they were perfect and incredibly fragrant and so delicious. It had to be done.
This morning I have to study just a bit, so now that I have coffee, I'm going to sit for a few more minutes and listen to the birds chirp.
Had a tree 'fall down' in the back yard, lukcily it was a small one. Bf came over on the weekend and felled it as well as cutting it into pieces. Yesterday afternoon I got the boys to help me take the brush to the front yard (praying they are going to pick it up soon). Like herding cats to get those children to do such a chore. Jeez.
Bf came over for a bit after work and helped me get all of the leaves up (yes, I hadn't finished a lot of autmnal yard work last year). I took a wee break to recharge and mowed the lawn! It's been a long time since I had that much energy - it's exciting to be back. If only I didn't have so much cleaning to do.
Around 9:30 last night started up the flan for my Spanish class party today - it's better the next day of course, but overnight will have to do.
Oh, and for dinner, I had a QUART of organic strawberries. I was only going to have a few but they were perfect and incredibly fragrant and so delicious. It had to be done.
This morning I have to study just a bit, so now that I have coffee, I'm going to sit for a few more minutes and listen to the birds chirp.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Dentist
My dentist, Dr. W, is nice (as is the assistant D) - my tooth is fixed and I'm home an hour after I left the house (off again after taking out the garbage and posting). Turns out my childhood dentist is pitching softball games. He's only 60! Which means he was not old when I saw him when I was 7. 30 years ago, the guy was only 30 - I thought he was old then.
Hee.
Hee.
Naivete
I just realized that I still hold on to a very naive thought about the world: that everyone else worries/thinks about things like I do. That every thoughtless act or statement was purposely crafted instead of done or said thoughtlessly.
Wow.
I'll forget that again sometime soon and remember it again, being just slightly less surprised by it than I am now.
Wow.
I'll forget that again sometime soon and remember it again, being just slightly less surprised by it than I am now.
Suicide Food
The Simpsons and Saturday Night Live both had great send ups of this concept - food (most notably an animal mascot) wishing to eat itself. Suicide Food is a serious exploration of this troubling phenomenon.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Yay sleep
Maybe it was the vanilla ice cream, maybe it was inevitable due to extreme exhaustion, but I slept on Saturday night, fairly well. Woke rested but restless due to truncated Saturday plans, and was out the door around 8.
Last night went to bed a bit late but not too bad, accidentally slept in this morning, but all went well, despite my 15 minute deadline to clothe, feed and deliver the 7 year old to school. He had gotten up earlier so the fight to drag him from his bed was not an issue.
Had an incredibly busy but dull to relate day, picked up the boy early and got him cleaned up so we could enjoy dinner with bf's mother, in town for the day. We ate well and I tried to relax - I'm really worried I'll do something horribly wrong, but even the boy could tell bf's mom is a really nice person "She'd like everybody Mom, even people who did something bad."
Cleaned for a while, read blogs, thought about studying for my exam (curse you repaso - por vs. para will be my undoing). Got a bee in my bonnet about something and don't know how to bring it up with the involved parties.
Need to plan a vacation, even if it's just me in a motel 100 miles out of town, watching bad movies on cable. Need some time to regroup and enjoy time outside of Time.
Tomorrow I am getting a spot of dental work done. It's not a big deal but on a front tooth. Since I've got a front top crown already, I guess I'm a bit sensitive about work in that area.
Oh, and then an EXAM! The fun, as it were, never stops!
Have I talked about local, national or world politics lately? It's not because I don't think about them.
I hope to be posting much more in the future (read: this summer after my 3 week interim course is done) in the area of picture posts and travelogues. I've got things to see and do and stories to tell.
Last night went to bed a bit late but not too bad, accidentally slept in this morning, but all went well, despite my 15 minute deadline to clothe, feed and deliver the 7 year old to school. He had gotten up earlier so the fight to drag him from his bed was not an issue.
Had an incredibly busy but dull to relate day, picked up the boy early and got him cleaned up so we could enjoy dinner with bf's mother, in town for the day. We ate well and I tried to relax - I'm really worried I'll do something horribly wrong, but even the boy could tell bf's mom is a really nice person "She'd like everybody Mom, even people who did something bad."
Cleaned for a while, read blogs, thought about studying for my exam (curse you repaso - por vs. para will be my undoing). Got a bee in my bonnet about something and don't know how to bring it up with the involved parties.
Need to plan a vacation, even if it's just me in a motel 100 miles out of town, watching bad movies on cable. Need some time to regroup and enjoy time outside of Time.
Tomorrow I am getting a spot of dental work done. It's not a big deal but on a front tooth. Since I've got a front top crown already, I guess I'm a bit sensitive about work in that area.
Oh, and then an EXAM! The fun, as it were, never stops!
Have I talked about local, national or world politics lately? It's not because I don't think about them.
I hope to be posting much more in the future (read: this summer after my 3 week interim course is done) in the area of picture posts and travelogues. I've got things to see and do and stories to tell.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Good Grief
Oh Noes.
So, I mention my insomnia in the last post. I woke up at 11:45 last night and just ended up staying up through the evening and into the morning.
I wasn't feeling too bad until about 3, when I realized that I shouldn't run any errands because I didn't trust myself to drive safely. I'm just too tired. At 4, after a shower which I figured would wake me or put me to sleep, I lay down in bed and *nearly* fell asleep for a couple of hours.
But: my heart is beating so hard (not, I think, literally, it just feels very present in my chest). And I need to tell you this: I have had 1/4 cup of coffee today, 12 hours ago, so I don't think that is it.
Unfortunately, I'm AWAKE but too fried to drive, missing not one but two cookouts, destined to fall alseep on the couch wishing I had cable (or indeed any tv reception downstairs).
This is getting ridiculous! It had better be a fluke! Maybe ice cream will help?
So, I mention my insomnia in the last post. I woke up at 11:45 last night and just ended up staying up through the evening and into the morning.
I wasn't feeling too bad until about 3, when I realized that I shouldn't run any errands because I didn't trust myself to drive safely. I'm just too tired. At 4, after a shower which I figured would wake me or put me to sleep, I lay down in bed and *nearly* fell asleep for a couple of hours.
But: my heart is beating so hard (not, I think, literally, it just feels very present in my chest). And I need to tell you this: I have had 1/4 cup of coffee today, 12 hours ago, so I don't think that is it.
Unfortunately, I'm AWAKE but too fried to drive, missing not one but two cookouts, destined to fall alseep on the couch wishing I had cable (or indeed any tv reception downstairs).
This is getting ridiculous! It had better be a fluke! Maybe ice cream will help?
Good Lord
Just realized that I've been up for nearly 12 hours - it's 10:25 in the morning.
Insomnia, when it hits, doesn't mess around.
I'm excited about fixing my house up - the bathroom has been painted, and today begins the weekend's project: the office. Used as my exhusband's bedroom for a year or so, and sitting empty (empty isn't the right word at all, it's been full of crap) for more than two years, I am taking everything but the bookshelves out and tomorrow will dismantle my computer desk and put it up in there. This should fix my bad habit of getting up at all hours to sit at my computer. Of course, it means I can't listen to music or watch movies in my room any longer. I'll live. I may well end up moving into the downstairs bedroom before too long - I can move all of M's stuff up here and this could be his playroom! That would be nice.
"Saturday at the 70s" is on the radio - I used to listen to (50s and 60s) oldies every Saturday morning when I was a teenager. It's fun listening to this stuff with the kids.
I have been so busy this week, I've noticed that when I am still I start feeling weepy - my guess? I'm a bit overwhelmed with everything.
Okay, back to work.
Insomnia, when it hits, doesn't mess around.
I'm excited about fixing my house up - the bathroom has been painted, and today begins the weekend's project: the office. Used as my exhusband's bedroom for a year or so, and sitting empty (empty isn't the right word at all, it's been full of crap) for more than two years, I am taking everything but the bookshelves out and tomorrow will dismantle my computer desk and put it up in there. This should fix my bad habit of getting up at all hours to sit at my computer. Of course, it means I can't listen to music or watch movies in my room any longer. I'll live. I may well end up moving into the downstairs bedroom before too long - I can move all of M's stuff up here and this could be his playroom! That would be nice.
"Saturday at the 70s" is on the radio - I used to listen to (50s and 60s) oldies every Saturday morning when I was a teenager. It's fun listening to this stuff with the kids.
I have been so busy this week, I've noticed that when I am still I start feeling weepy - my guess? I'm a bit overwhelmed with everything.
Okay, back to work.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
she was none of these things, and all of them...
The end of the audiobook "How to Disappear Completely" (see link at left) is bringing tears to my eyes.
One of the lead characters becomes privy to all of time and the myriad timelines her life could have taken, would have taken, had taken.
It reminds me of how fast things seem to be going for me now, how any ending is possible to my story, how any storyline seems plausible.
It has been a good story.
One of the lead characters becomes privy to all of time and the myriad timelines her life could have taken, would have taken, had taken.
It reminds me of how fast things seem to be going for me now, how any ending is possible to my story, how any storyline seems plausible.
It has been a good story.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
