Oh what a beautiful morning...

Man, I woke up with 5 hours of sleep under my belt but still somehow got up on the right side of the bed. I've been so productive. I went to the far away grocery store, and didn't buy too much (but what I bought was more expensive, for a few items), and decided that I really like grocery shopping in my pjs!

Unfortunately so do a lot of other people, so instead of feeling quirky, I just felt average. I hate feeling average.

Right now it's putting away laundry (which I FOLDED this morning, before taking the boy to school), and then ironing, as the rain looks like it's going to stay away and the weather will be warming up in time for my coffee meeting with a long time blogging friend from far and away.

It is beautiful here, though. It snowed a couple of days ago, but it's back on the Springtime track and we are promised mid 60s today. The birds are out and about and it's just amazing.

Side note: my mother and I were speaking on the phone yesterday and she said "you sound manic." That's how I feel too, so she was actually being pretty perceptive. Maybe I should invest in some decaf?

Nah.

Let the circle be unbroken

...What a heady time this is.

My new regime of meds seems to have lifted my depression and tossed it away. I am feeling quite good.

A little too good. My mood was spiraling up and up this week and I'm still not sure of it's exact status at the moment. I feel good but not really ready to be on my own with this good feeling, as it's accompanied by not sleeping or eating regular meals, and a lot of excessive cigarette smoking.

::shakes fist at bipolar disorder::

And still, we strive for balance with meds and talk therapy and hard bogdamned work, asking for help, accepting help, and accepting that sometimes help is hard to find.

The bf and I have found a place to live, together. This is monumental and exciting (and can I safely admit in this company, terrifying in its own right), and not for a few more months, so we can adjust slowly. It has many requirements he and I shared, and each of us came away with things we wanted (location for me, a garden space for him). Oh, and there are established raspberry plants in the back yard!

Tonight I had the pleasure and privilege of feeding my ex husband's stepson to be, and hopefully they will take me up on my very sincere offer to babysit this little bundle of happymaking babiness. He is a beautiful, friendly baby who the 8 yr old is absolutely crazy about, and it's mutual. Although the ex and I still have our moments, we are getting, I hope, to a place where we can be a big family, with trust and stuff.

I also ran into someone I hadn't seen for years and that was bittersweet and funny. We shared some gallows humor and I hope we get the chance to talk again soon.

I should be sleeping, and even took the medicine which is supposed to make me sleepy, but so far, nothing is happening. Maybe blogging is keeping me awake, you suppose?

Ground Control to Major Tom (secret message)

A blast from my past, perhaps? Was that you I saw in my Stats list?
If so, please write.
It'd be nice to catch up.