Ups and Downs

So I'm down.

D
O
W
N

Down.

And it's not romantic or interesting. It makes everyone run away from me.
It makes me run away from everyone. I eat too much and sleep too much and think about hurting myself to make the incessant meaningless rhythm less drumbeat of pain go away.

And I can't parent properly, or student properly, and how the hell can I look for a job when getting out of bed is a chore?

I'm down.

Blah.