Tuesday, October 16, 2007

More anger from the bi polar nation


This has been a frustrating week (damn, it's only Tuesday). Yesterday I had a "hangover" from my meds and couldn't concentrate - words were hard to come by when my professor was speaking to me in Spanish, and I finally had to say "sorry, not today" - luckily it was only a side conversation, not during the test! But I have NO idea how I did on the exam either.

Last night I was supposed to up the meds, and because of the hangover effect I felt, I decided to take them a few hours before bedtime. Which resulted in me not being able to get out of bed to tuck the little one in, not being able to get into my pyjamas and generally being very disoriented. It was not so bad that the 8 year old was scared, but I was pretty confused for still being lucid.

I emailed bf in the midst of this and reading it this morning see it was not even a full sentence and had a couple of misspellings. He seemed to be amused by that, and I was angry at his apparent amusement at my genuine disorientation, so now that's a snarly situation. Sigh.

And people wonder why folks don't take their meds?

So I'm a bit worn out this morning and sad, but at least I can stand up and think fairly clearly. I'm going back down to 1/4 dose for now. Calling my clinician is useless because all they ever say are things like "the side effects will get better after a week or so", and "Call me if your kneecaps fall off". So I will soldier on for the rest of the week and see if I can't make it through this initial period of confusion, tired and disorientation, kneecaps intact.

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