I think it's being just a little bit sick with a cold, or maybe it's the mid-April blizzard we're having, or perhaps it's the intense 'break through' therapy session, or the onslaught of thought about sexism and racism brought on by stupid Don Imus (which makes me start believing that all men hate women and all white people hate black, which I know isn't true, but what if it WERE true? It would look a lot like the world in which he is "scolded" for saying those things, but the relative 'truth' of his words isn't questioned, because secretly they are agreed with by his defenders), but I've been having trouble finding that 'just so' place.
My words are too hot or too cold, too hard or too soft, too angry or too appeasing.
I'm looking for real life conversation and connection on it but I am actively avoiding bringing it up with my white friends. It's really crazy. Today I was talking with my Anthro prof and a couple of other faculty member (who I'd rather not talk to but they are always there and it's impossible to get this guy to meet me outside of school), and one of them brought up some article about how "they" are always looking to be offended, and me and the Prof just got quiet. For my part, I just wasn't in the mood to teach this guy, and too angry to say anything anyhow.
More on this when I've had some sleep (I should have been in bed hours ago), and links to new favourite blogs.