There's a plot against my sleep. At least, I feel as though there is. I live in a semi-industrial neighborhood.
And one of the businesses is making a hell of a lot of noise right now. Perhaps they are loading a truck? I dunno, but it's BLOODY LOUD and they woke me the hell up.
Not very happy.
p.s. Please send me some Christmas Spirit! I have none.
Now, back to watching Bones Season 1.
Showing posts with label insomnia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insomnia. Show all posts
Monday, December 24, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Rational Thinking
In my Myth Magic and Religion Anthro course, we talked about the ideal of Rational vs. Irrational thinking and how humans are really arational thinkers (of course, cannot remember subtleties of this discussion nor who coined the 'arational' term - and is that two rs? looks weird with one).
But I am up at 2 am (again, waking from sleep insomnia strikes), and suddenly have this unformed discussion about rationalism in my head. Oh, I know, was thinking about astrology, by which I am occasionally fascinated. Bf thinks it is a bunch of hooey, which for prognostication purposes may be true. But how interesting that there are thick tomes written trying to understand the world through the stars. And not just "the stars", but the precise placement of stars in the sky.
It is a STUDY, regardless of the final use of the data collected. And I enjoy reading my horoscopes, if only as a daily meditative exercise (but honestly, sometimes I just enjoy them for the 'drama' they provide).
The myth of rational thought is pretty pervasive in our culture. The rational is thought to be cold, calculating and pure, the emotional to be hot, impulsive and contaminated. But rational thought, for humans, isn't as easy as it seems. Nor, in my opinion, is it as universally necessary as the rational thought camp thinks.
What makes a rational thought isn't as objective as we'd like to think. To my mind, it can be a rational decision for a person to commit suicide - but some people would typify that as irrational, always. To (at least some of the) people who voted for George Bush twice, that was a rational decision. To me? Crazy as hell.
The idea of rational vs. irrational is largely about seeing the world as Western vs. Not as well. That the mythologies of the dominant religions in the west (Judeo Xtan and Islamic traditions) are not "magic", but other (generally smaller indigenous) religious traditions are considered magical and therefore lesser is the largest example of this. And within the larger context many people in the US have been calling Islam an irrational religion while ignoring the irrational nature of Christianity).
For me, being absolutist about anything is not the ideal. Of course, I am like a dish full of mercury*, never staying in one cohesive piece for long, able to split and regroup around ideas and ideologies.
This is not to say that I am 'against' rational thinking. Of course not. Some days calculating rational thought is all that keeps me from running away to join the circus. Irrational thoughts can be helpful as well - being free to think about all of the options, no matter how unrealistic, is a part of being creative. Knowing when it's time to be rational and time to be irrational seems to be a valuable skill.
With all that I see and hear and my one-step-back position from most discussions and situations, I just don't feel I need to pick a camp. I like it here on my small patch of a-rational land.
*This makes vast amounts of sense, seeing that I am a Gemini, who is influenced very heavily by the planet Mercury. Just saying.
But I am up at 2 am (again, waking from sleep insomnia strikes), and suddenly have this unformed discussion about rationalism in my head. Oh, I know, was thinking about astrology, by which I am occasionally fascinated. Bf thinks it is a bunch of hooey, which for prognostication purposes may be true. But how interesting that there are thick tomes written trying to understand the world through the stars. And not just "the stars", but the precise placement of stars in the sky.
It is a STUDY, regardless of the final use of the data collected. And I enjoy reading my horoscopes, if only as a daily meditative exercise (but honestly, sometimes I just enjoy them for the 'drama' they provide).
The myth of rational thought is pretty pervasive in our culture. The rational is thought to be cold, calculating and pure, the emotional to be hot, impulsive and contaminated. But rational thought, for humans, isn't as easy as it seems. Nor, in my opinion, is it as universally necessary as the rational thought camp thinks.
What makes a rational thought isn't as objective as we'd like to think. To my mind, it can be a rational decision for a person to commit suicide - but some people would typify that as irrational, always. To (at least some of the) people who voted for George Bush twice, that was a rational decision. To me? Crazy as hell.
The idea of rational vs. irrational is largely about seeing the world as Western vs. Not as well. That the mythologies of the dominant religions in the west (Judeo Xtan and Islamic traditions) are not "magic", but other (generally smaller indigenous) religious traditions are considered magical and therefore lesser is the largest example of this. And within the larger context many people in the US have been calling Islam an irrational religion while ignoring the irrational nature of Christianity).
For me, being absolutist about anything is not the ideal. Of course, I am like a dish full of mercury*, never staying in one cohesive piece for long, able to split and regroup around ideas and ideologies.
This is not to say that I am 'against' rational thinking. Of course not. Some days calculating rational thought is all that keeps me from running away to join the circus. Irrational thoughts can be helpful as well - being free to think about all of the options, no matter how unrealistic, is a part of being creative. Knowing when it's time to be rational and time to be irrational seems to be a valuable skill.
With all that I see and hear and my one-step-back position from most discussions and situations, I just don't feel I need to pick a camp. I like it here on my small patch of a-rational land.
*This makes vast amounts of sense, seeing that I am a Gemini, who is influenced very heavily by the planet Mercury. Just saying.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Two weeks
I have a two week mood cycle, it seems. One thing I know for certain, I have insomnia every other Thursday morning; either I can't get to sleep Wednesday night or I wake up far too early Thursday morn. This morning it was the latter. I think I got up around 2:30. At least I went to bed at a decent hour last night (pretty much right after LOST at 9pm).
I feel fine, but anticipate a bit of a late night. Two weeks ago it was Writer's Group, as it is again tonight. Am I waking up early in anticipation of our meetings? Man, that would take my childhood anxiety and show it who's boss. I used to take swimming lessons when I was a kid (maybe 7? I'm really not sure, it could have been 8) and I HATED going. I was terrified of the water. I didn't mind the shallow end, actually, but we never stayed there.
Anyway, I was so incredibly anxious, I would vomit before nearly every class. Some days it would be in the changing room, once it was in the water fountain right next to the pool. Then as the weeks went on I started throwing up on the way from the bus stop to the YWCA building on the square. There were these big planters with trees in them (evergreens, I think), and I remember throwing up in one of those. I stopped eating breakfast in the morning. No help there. So after a couple weeks of that, I also stopped eating dinner the night before, so I wouldn't have anything in my stomach. That may have worked okay, or it might have been the fact that no one was going to get me in that deep end. I had "panicky drowning" written all over me.
So I still don't know how to swim.
Jeez, today has been long enough! Oh yeah, I got up at 2:30 am. I've already been up for 13 hours!!! No wonder. I've baked muffins (pumpkin chocolate chip at 8:15 am and Chocolate Donut muffins [an experiment, needed more sugar in the batter] just now.
House is quite clean (except for my latest muffin mess) and I have lots of muffins.
And a 4 o'clock appointment, for which I am not prepared.
I feel fine, but anticipate a bit of a late night. Two weeks ago it was Writer's Group, as it is again tonight. Am I waking up early in anticipation of our meetings? Man, that would take my childhood anxiety and show it who's boss. I used to take swimming lessons when I was a kid (maybe 7? I'm really not sure, it could have been 8) and I HATED going. I was terrified of the water. I didn't mind the shallow end, actually, but we never stayed there.
Anyway, I was so incredibly anxious, I would vomit before nearly every class. Some days it would be in the changing room, once it was in the water fountain right next to the pool. Then as the weeks went on I started throwing up on the way from the bus stop to the YWCA building on the square. There were these big planters with trees in them (evergreens, I think), and I remember throwing up in one of those. I stopped eating breakfast in the morning. No help there. So after a couple weeks of that, I also stopped eating dinner the night before, so I wouldn't have anything in my stomach. That may have worked okay, or it might have been the fact that no one was going to get me in that deep end. I had "panicky drowning" written all over me.
So I still don't know how to swim.
Jeez, today has been long enough! Oh yeah, I got up at 2:30 am. I've already been up for 13 hours!!! No wonder. I've baked muffins (pumpkin chocolate chip at 8:15 am and Chocolate Donut muffins [an experiment, needed more sugar in the batter] just now.
House is quite clean (except for my latest muffin mess) and I have lots of muffins.
And a 4 o'clock appointment, for which I am not prepared.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
